Trena Eiden

Naming children would be something we should really take time to research and contemplate. We have a son, Esjae, pronounced SJ, who tells us we should have just called him “Buddy,” because when anyone reads his name, that’s what they call him. General Douglas MacArthur’s child was equally traumatized, as Arthur. Yes, Arthur MacArthur. Many years ago, a gentleman went by Preston Pritchard because his mother didn’t want him to go through life introducing himself by his given name, Richard. Richard Pritchard. Now is when we wonder why she allowed him to be named that in the first place? Esjae wonders too. 

I recently read an article stating there are many lessons people learn far too late in life. I agreed with this until I read that we should live without fear because fear is worse than reality. It said fear of needles is more painful than the needle itself. Who thinks that? Nobody. That’s like saying the fear of snakes is scarier than the actual snake. Please, I know things, and needles are painful and snakes are scary and that goes for both thoughts and encounters.  

The article’s author mentioned money cannot buy happiness and I’d like to tell him to his face that is not accurate. One day last summer Gar worked on the roof and I helped. When I say ‘helped,’ I mean I complained. It was hot like the surface of the sun, and it was miserable. At one point I told Gar, “I’m considering fainting, and falling over the edge just so I can get down.” Without even looking up at me, Mr. Stoic replied, “It won’t work. I tried to faint all day yesterday.” I whined that my neck and back hurt and finally griped, “I can’t believe you didn’t call someone to help.” Gar said, “I have someone to help.” I said, “I mean someone besides me.” He said, “Why would I need someone when I’ve got you?” I said, “Because I don’t want to be up here.” He said, “Me neither.” I said, “Then see, you could have called someone to help.” He said, “I think we’re covering previous territory.” Nearing completion, he said something about dying from a heart attack due to the heat. I said, “Try it, you’re not getting out of this by death. I’d climb down that ladder and pound on your chest till you revived enough to finish.” He said, “Well, so much for dying with dignity.” Now when he mentions doing a project with me, I remind him that money, and the help it can purchase, does buy happiness.  

The article said not to let fear of embarrassment stop you from being yourself. Oh, man, when I read that I felt like I’d just been written a prescription for Tom foolery. I’ve never gone out of my way to be a goof, it’s just so easy for me. Thankfully I’ve never worried about what others think because the author said people aren’t thinking nearly as much as we expect. When you aren’t concerned about what is thought of you and just frolic along, it makes for a much more well-rounded life. I once told my second son, “I’ve never had my most embarrassing moment.” He snuggled me close and whispered, “Ya, Mama, that’s because you are the most embarrassing moment.”    

Sometimes understanding how things were vs. are, is a teaching tool, but doesn’t always teach anything. Growing up, I had thick, silky brunette hair that was so long I could sit on it. When Gar and I got married I had to start putting it up in a high pony and piling it on top of my head to sleep. If I didn’t, in the night when I’d attempt to roll over, I’d find it impossible because Gar was lying on it. I finally cut it and that’s when unruly curls and barrels of hairspray came into being. One evening recently, we were lying on the bed talking to our kids on the phone. As we hung up, Gar reached over and smoothed hair from my face. It was a sweet, tender gesture, until he reached the edge where his fingers met my unmanageable mop, drenched in dried hairspray. Then it became an extrication process, similar to getting your shirt unstuck from a barbwire fence.  

Poor Gar. I once told him, “When you saw me afar off, you should have watched where you were going ‘cause you ended up where you were headed.” He quietly nodded and gave a little sob.