It is about time.

At times, I meet clients who have been aware of their emotional struggles for years. Many have thought about seeking professional help long before they finally reach out for therapy — often when they begin to feel overwhelmed, stuck, or afraid they are spiraling. One client once described therapy as something beneficial for everyone, much like dental hygiene — regular care for our emotional wellbeing. Another client shared that her mother, who struggled with substance abuse while raising children, once said, “We should all go to therapy.”

Life is not meant to be only about surviving. Human beings are also meant to grow, create, connect, heal, thrive and enjoy life. It might be time to talk about it.

Clients have the right to find a therapist who feels like a good fit. It might take some time, but it is worth the effort because every person’s life and story matter.

Mental and emotional struggles often appear in the way people think, process experiences, behave, and relate to others. Negative thought patterns, self-sabotaging behaviors, emotional reactivity, lack of insight or unhealthy relationships can interfere with personal, social and professional life. These struggles are not signs of weakness or failure. More often, they are the result of living in an imperfect yet beautiful world where pain, loss, disappointment and hardship are unavoidable parts of the human experience.

Our need for a safe and confidential space

Therapy is a unique, personalized, professional and confidential service. Confidentiality matters deeply. We may have supportive family and friends, but there are times when it feels difficult to discuss painful experiences, fears, losses or struggles openly with people close to us. During those moments, it is important to have a safe, comfortable and nonjudgmental space where we can speak honestly, while feeling accepted and respected for who we are. Psychotherapy offers that space. Many people feel relieved just by finally expressing what has been heavy in their hearts, and simply being truly heard without criticism, interruption, or dismissal can become the beginning of healing.

What is psychotherapy?

One of my favorite ways to describe psychotherapy during an initial session is this: Therapy is about “finding truth.”

It is a journey of understanding the complexities of life and human nature — identity, trauma, loss, family dynamics, relationships, culture, fear, resilience and personal growth. As insight grows, people begin to understand not only what happened to them, but also how those experiences shaped the way they show up and interact with the world today.

The Bible says, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32) In many ways, therapy can become a process of gradually finding freedom from anxiety, depression, fear, shame and emotional suffering through greater awareness and understanding. Working on freedom from suffering can be achieved through daily spiritual practice toward being awakened and enlightened. Psychologist Abraham Maslow also described this lifelong process as self-actualization — becoming more fully oneself.

Another way to understand therapy is working on the “pain body” — unresolved emotional pain from the past, which people carry inside individually and collectively, affecting present-day life. For some, the unhealed old hurt and wound still feel raw, becoming sensitive even when being slightly touched — triggered, which could lead to intense emotional reactions, defensive thinking, or impulsive behaviors. Many clients describe feeling as if they have spent much of their lives in survival mode — fighting, fleeing, hiding, freezing, pawning, pleasing others or escaping emotionally. It is our body’s brilliant way of adaptation to staying safe, after experiencing overwhelming stress and pain. Unfortunately, survival mode can become exhausting and a limited way of living.

Unresolved pain often resurfaces through anxiety, depression, addiction, anger, emotional numbness, low self-worth, or relationship difficulties. In many ways, psychotherapy helps people gradually release the emotional “ammunition” they have been holding for years. Healing may begin by revisiting painful experiences in a safe environment while remaining grounded in the present moment — recognizing, “I made it, and I am safe now.”  

So many have experienced abuse, neglect, loss, or bullying growing up, which is sad reality, and they often still carry the hurt, sadness, anger, unfairness or shame inside, that make life unnecessarily heavy — no time for creating or contributing to self, others and the world. Therapy can help lighten that burden.

Psychotherapy is not only about understanding and gaining insights into the past. It is also about making different choices in the present — ultimately becoming a new person. Healing often involves choosing not to repeat old dysfunctional patterns, and learning healthier ways of thinking, communicating, coping, setting boundaries and relating to oneself and others. Lasting change does not happen overnight. 

Modern neuroscience supports this possibility through neuroplasticity — the brain’s ability to change and form new neural connections throughout life. Dr. Joe Dispenza often summarizes this idea, “Nerve cells fire together, wire together.” Repeated thoughts, emotions, and behaviors strengthen patterns in the brain. Over time, healthier patterns can be practiced and strengthened. 

Your first and most important step

Emotional pain is as real as physical pain, as science proves it. Just because emotional suffering cannot always be seen does not mean it is not there.

Therapy is not about someone “fixing” you with a magic solution. You can take the first and most important step of reaching out for help, which takes courage and strength. Together therapist and you will keep taking one step at a time, at a pace that feels safe and manageable.

Over time, you begin to rediscover your voice, strength, and capacity to live more intentionally and creatively. You become more than survivors of life’s hardships. You can live with your own agency and become the captain of your ship (life).

TAKE AWAY TO-DOS

Check in on family and friends, who might be struggling with mental health issues.

The Wyoming Suicide and Crisis Lifeline can be reached by call or text at 988 at any time.

(Myoung Shin Hilson is a psychotherapist and part of Park County NAMI.)