Loose lips really do sink ships. Well, not literally — that would take a torpedo or millions of determined termites. But the Bible takes a strong stand against the tongue and the poisonous gossip it spews.

“Do not spread false reports. Do not help a wicked man by being a malicious witness,” says Exodus 23:1. “Like a club or a sword or a sharp arrow is the man who gives false testimony against his neighbor,” says Proverbs 25:18.

And John 11:35, “Jesus wept.” That has nothing to do with gossip , of course, but it’s the only verse I’ve memorized verbatim, so I always like to throw it in.

Those fetching Hee Haw Honeys sang, “...No you’ll never hear one of us repeating gossip, so you better be sure and listen close the first time.”

Gossip isn’t always so whimsical though, and I freely admit my own gossiping propensity, but my gossip falls into the non-malicious category. Sure, in the context of getting a good laugh, I might drop a name and repeat something, only to remember later it probably wasn’t something I should have shared — particularly when someone had told me, “Absolutely do NOT share this with anyone.”

Yet, even totally innocent blabbing like mine can sink a ship or potentially even a marriage. As God is my witness, it nearly happened to me back in 2000. A fellow named Larry called me for a roof-addition estimate, and we became fast friends. After finishing the job, we had beers and decided to continue the bonding revelry at the nearby Gibbs Sports Pub.

As we sat in the parking lot finishing Budweisers we’d taken for the road (I know, that’s technically unlawful, but I’m not sure we realized it at the time), I mentioned Johnstown, Pa. and Larry lit up like faulty wiring. He said as a teenager in Alabama, he worked for his father’s electrical company, which worked in Johnstown in the aftermath of the great flood of ’77.

Actually, I only dropped off two of my buddies when I was 16, since I was a virgin and a cowardly one to boot. Rachel’s was a foreboding, white, three-story house sitting on a steep hill accessed by a long, winding, white staircase. It was staffed totally by African Americans, and when the huge, black guy shined the flashlight at my car and growled, “How many?” I whimpered “Two” and sped off like another flood was coming. I returned later to retrieve my pals, who were grinning like two toads under a harrow.

A few months after Larry’s disclosure, I was home for a visit and drove to the closed, dilapidating Rachel’s for nostalgia sake. From the driveway where I once parked, I snapped photos of the building that had served so many. When I returned to Cody, I left one of the photos with an arrow drawn to a third-story window and the words, “Larry Slept Here,” on his doorstep.

That was all well and good; we laughed and reminisced some more. Months later, he invited me to a big party at his house, celebrating his marriage proposal to girlfriend Kerri. I arrived the same time as my nephew Rusty and wife Krista.

Kerri greeted us at the door, where we chatted and sipped drinks. I mentioned Johnstown and she said, “I think Larry worked back there many years ago.”

I chirped, “I know. In fact, we’ve both been to Rachel’s, the local cathouse.”

After a painful silence, she said, “Really? Larry told me his dad went, but he stayed behind at the motel.”

My accurate version of events wasn’t well received, and after I stuttered for a while, she brusquely walked away, heading straight toward Larry. Rusty whispered, “Nice going. It only took you five minutes to break up a marriage before it even began.”

Well, my startling revelation proved merely a bump in the road, even though Larry made threatening gestures at me from across the room. It would take more than a little spat to prevent what turned out to be four years of wedded bliss. Sadly though, they were married for eight and have long-since divorced. But that had nothing to do with me or Rachel’s girls.

So you see, my harmless brand of gossip isn’t the normal, ship-sinking kind. I’m just not a malicious gossiper, but I’ll tell you who is if you promise not to go repeating it.