Trena Eiden

Recently, in Puget Sound off the coast of Washington state, orcas were seen, each wearing a dead salmon on their head like a hat. The first time this was observed was in 1987, then the behavior stopped, and now it’s back and scientists think it’s a fad. It reminds me of the last time I sat in an airport terminal. A lady in big, red, clown-like glasses with turquoise ear pieces sat down by me. She was wearing a baseball cap, then a black cowboy hat on top of that, then a white flat-brimmed cowboy hat on top of those, then a brown flat-brimmed hat with a feather in the hatband on top. I tried not to gawk at her, but was intrigued when a gentleman walked by, then stepped back to stare at her. Motioning toward her menagerie, he asked, “What’s with all the headgear?” She shrugged, then cooly replied, “Oh, well, you never know when you’ll need a hat.” Maybe that’s how the orcas feel, after all, a dead salmon does keep the sun off. 

July 4, 2026 marks the 250th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, culminating 250 years of the USA honoring principles of liberty and self-government, with nothing more important than faith, family and freedom. 

Our U.S. flag has 50 white stars representing the 50 states on a blue field with 13 alternating red and white stripes for the 13 original colonies. The red represents courage and the blood shed by those who fought for freedom. White symbolizes high moral standards, which is iffy at this point if you ask me, and white is also to show a desire for peace and harmony, which may or may not be, given the difference of opinion between blue and red states. The blue on the flag signifies perseverance, and justice for all. 

The flag’s designer was a 17-year-old junior, Bob Heft, who in 1958 created it for a school project and promptly received a B-. He accompanied his design to D.C and following the flag-raising ceremony, immediately headed back to Lancaster, Ohio to tell his teacher, Mr. Pratt that his handiwork was selected as the official U.S. flag, whereupon Mr. Pratt promptly gave him an A. 

The U.S. population is around 350 million, and on any given day nearly 61,000 are in airplanes flying the friendly skies. We have 42,000 zip codes, including the Empire State Building which has its own, plus a personal one for each president to manage his mail. In Wyoming, North and South Dakota, Nebraska, Montana, Kansas, Idaho, Iowa and Oklahoma, cattle outnumber people. Lest we get cocky, we should note that Kentucky has more barrels of bourbon than people so there is that. 

Americans eat over 100 acres of pizza every day, which could be why 175 million of us are obese, but pizza isn’t the only culprit. Our country is unique in offering free refills on beverages, including coffee and here’s where I tell you, I thought I liked coffee, turns out I like creamer. There’s a few other food items exclusive to America; graham crackers, spray cheese, American cheese, biscuits and gravy, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, ranch dressing, marshmallow cream, grits, white bread, Old Bay and Cajun seasoning, BBQ sauce, Tootsie Rolls, Welch’s Fruit Snacks and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. 

Other things only found in the U.S. are red Solo cups, yellow school buses, which were specifically formulated to attract attention to improve safety, Girl Scout Cookies, garbage disposals, and cashiers bagging groceries. Reading that, I thought, “Are cashiers supposed to be bagging my groceries, and how long am I to wait for that?” 

The U.S. has 15 of the top 20 world’s billionaires and the most in total at 989, and they give over $44 billion to charity every year. In fact, Americans are ranked No. 1 in generosity, with individual church mice like you and me giving the most at nearly $600 billion. We give to local fireworks, children’s hospitals, scholarships, food banks, animal welfare, disaster relief, church organized services, handyman help for the elderly, and parks and communities. For all our faults, Americans have big hearts (and butts).

One oddity about Americans for foreigners is that we say, “How are you?” Visitors are taken aback, becoming confused in knowing how to reply. I’ll clear up any confusion. When we say, “Hey, how are ya,” we aren’t really asking for a life story. If you’ve just been hit by a train, we’re interested, otherwise, simply respond with the snappy comeback we like to use, “Great, thanks.”