Neil Waite

Author Merrilee Boyack tells the story of being in college and writing a lengthy letter to her dad. In this letter she complained to him, among other things, that school was hard, she was always broke, that she had no free time and wasn’t dating. About a week later, she received a reply from her dad. It was a simple 3x5-inch card with the message written in big, bold print: “Stop looking in the mirror and start looking out the window. Love, Dad.”  

At first Boyack was furious. Hadn’t he been listening? Didn’t he care? Where was the support she needed? After stewing about it for a while, she decided to take her father’s advice. She wrote, “I started to look out the window and to reach out to others, and, as I did so, an amazing thing happened (as it always does): I changed. My problems shrank and most went away completely. My dad’s note on that 3x5-inch card was the best advice he has ever given me.”

This story teaches a simple but important lesson. Happiness is best found when we focus on others instead of ourselves. I have found that when I am discouraged or grumpy, I am usually focused on myself and my problems. In other words, I am looking in the mirror. However, when I take the time and effort to look around and truly see others, my own problems seem smaller and I can find joy as I focus outside myself. When I look out the window, rather than in the mirror, my perspective is clearer. Thomas S. Monson taught, “To find real happiness, we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves.”

There are times when all of us may have a hard time feeling God’s love. I have found that selflessly serving others is one way I can feel his love more abundantly in my life. There is often someone around us whose day can be brightened by a simple act of kindness or service. When asked, “Who is my neighbor?” Jesus taught the timeless parable of the Good Samaritan. This parable is a powerful example of love and service for each of us to follow. 

I have seen many examples of people “looking out the window” in our community. My family has been blessed by some of your acts of service. Many of these kind deeds may seem to go unnoticed, but they can make a big difference. I know that God’s love for each of us is always there, but as we “look out the window,” we can feel his love more fully and bring joy to those around us.

(Neil Waite is 2nd Ward Bishop of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Powell.)