Sometimes, you find yourself facing obstacles in life, such as stressful situations, hard decisions or difficult people. When things like that happen, one of the best things you can do is listen to your body — your gut.

Our gut “reads” our environment in the big picture, sensing our thinking mind might miss, providing us with valuable information, which helps us find a good decision. It’s a source of wisdom and inner compass, which many people today are disconnected from.

Clients sometimes express how hard it is to listen to themselves. They describe feeling empty or numb inside — a “void” that stems from early hurt or trauma. As children, we often cope with unbearable pain by shutting down our connection to our feelings and body. While this survival strategy may have protected us then, it can later interfere with our ability to make sound decisions as adults. Reconnecting with your inner self starts by learning to pause and listen again.

Creating space
before reacting

Albert Einstein once said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” In a stressful moment, the first step is to pause. Step back. Breathe slowly. These few seconds can create space to see things more clearly and allow our perspective to shift.

Spiritual teacher Jiddu Krishnamurti also offered wisdom on this: “The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.” In other words, just look. Don’t judge. Simply observe the situation as it is. This calm awareness can open the door to new solutions and perspectives.

Your choices: change, accept or remove

When faced with a difficult situation, consider this simple framework: 

1. Can I change this situation (or this person)?

2. If not, can I accept it?

3. If not, you can remove yourself from it.

Sometimes, the answer isn’t that simple. Maybe you cannot fully walk away from a job or relationship. You might change some parts, accept others and set clear boundaries — like spending less time with toxic people or choosing how you respond. The key is to stay aware of your choices and take actions that protect your peace.

Whose business
is it, really?

Byron Katie, a renowned spiritual teacher, offers another insight. She says there are only three kinds of business in the universe: My business, your business, and God’s business.

If something is out of your control — like the weather, earthquakes or what others think — that is not your business. You do not need to carry that weight.

Katie tells a story about catching herself worrying about her adult daughter who lived in another state. She realized she was mentally living her daughter’s life instead of her own. Once she recognized that, she returned to her own “business” and found peace again.

We can ask ourselves:

• Is this within my control?

• Is this my responsibility?

• Is this my business?

If the answer is no, then it is OK — more than OK — to let it go.

Let go of the
‘hot potatoes’

The human mind generates around 70,000 thoughts a day — some helpful, others not so much. A healthy mental habit is to question your thoughts rather than believe them automatically.

Think of painful, stressful thoughts as “hot potatoes.” If you are holding a hot potato, you don’t examine it — you drop it. You don’t ask where it came from or why it’s hot. You just let it go.

Many people carry around the painful thoughts for years — thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “Nothing ever works out,” “I don’t belong” or “This always happens to me.” These are the hot potatoes. Not facts, but habits. You don’t have to believe everything your mind tells you.

Instead, focus on what’s actually happening — the neutral facts, not the drama or story your mind spins around it. When you focus on reality, your mind becomes clearer and you can make a much better decision for the next action.

Make peace with reality

Most emotional struggles — anxiety, depression, stress — come from our dysfunctional relationship with reality. I often ask clients, “What is your relationship with reality?”

If you constantly wish things were different, avoiding problems or stay distracted with your phone, food or business — you are not really dealing with what’s happening. Escaping from reality might feel good for a while, but it won’t fix things. In the long run, it just keeps you stuck.

When you face reality, even if it’s hard, you grow stronger. You feel more confident. You stop running and start living. True mental wellness grows from a peaceful relationship with what is, not what “should be.”  

In summary, listen to your gut. Create space before reacting. Choose your response. Let go of what isn’t yours. Don’t believe every thought. And most importantly, face reality with courage and curiosity. That’s how we grow and how we heal.

TAKE AWAY TO-DOS

Check out the NAMI National website at nami.org, and your NAMI Wyoming website at namywyomng.com for signature programs, and upcoming events.

Check in on a friend, who might be struggling with mental health issues. The Wyoming Suicide and Crisis Lifeline can be reached by call or text at 988 at any time.

(Myoung Shin Hilson is a psychotherapist and a member of NAMI Wyoming.)