In my therapy sessions, many clients describe feeling tense, restless, or unable to stop worrying. They say they can’t relax, their minds jump to the worst-case scenario, and there’s a constant “what if” looping in their heads. Some call themselves “worriers,” saying they’ve been that way for as long as they can remember. It often takes years before they finally reach out for help — usually when the symptoms become overwhelming. When that moment comes, the courage and determination to their emotional wellbeing are always recognized and praised in session. 

Anxiety disorders are among the most common mental health conditions worldwide. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), about one in five adults in the United States experiences an anxiety disorder each year, and nearly one in three will at some point in their lives. Yet globally, only about one in four people with anxiety disorders receive proper treatment. Many try to push through it, believing they just have to “live with it” — or fearing the stigma of being judged for seeking help.

When does worry become a problem?

Psychiatrist Dr. Borwin Bandelow suggests asking yourself these simple questions to see if anxiety has crossed the line and become pathological:

Do I spend more than half of my day thinking about my fears?

Does my anxiety interfere with my work, family or friendships?

Has my quality of life suffered because of constant worry?

Do I rely on alcohol, food or medication to calm myself down?

If the answer is “yes,” anxiety may be controlling more of your life than you realize. It might be time to explore your anxiety more closely and consider getting help.

The root of anxiety: adaptation to stress, living in survival mode

For many people, anxiety starts early in life. One client once shared a story that stayed with me. When she was 6, her “perfectionist, OCD” mother told her, “Starting tomorrow, you’re responsible for catching the school bus by yourself.” What seemed like a small task to an adult felt overwhelming to a sensitive child. She lay awake, worrying she’d miss the bus or disappoint her mother. That survival threat moment became her first memory of anxiety, which grew stronger over time.

Her mother likely had good intentions but may not have understood her daughter’s emotional needs. Without knowing it, she passed down her own anxious patterns. Forty years later, that little girl — now a grown woman — came to therapy after years of trying to keep up that impossible standard, constantly striving to prove her worth through a lifetime of “performing” for others to earn love and safety. When the mind lives in survival mode for too long, the body eventually breaks down. Her body and mind had finally said, “No more.”

She was forced to stop everything; her job, volunteering activities at her church, and even did not feel comfortable going out to interact with people, as her body finally said “No” to the world in the form of illness.

Caught in the past or the future

Anxiety often pulls us out of the present moment. We replay past mistakes or imagine future disasters. The mind thinks it’s helping us prepare, but it’s actually keeping us stuck.

Something as simple as a few slow, conscious breaths can interrupt this cycle. Breathing anchors us in the here and now — the only place life actually happens. Your breath reminds your body that you’re safe and helps calm your brain down. You begin to realize that at this very moment, you are safe. 

Breaking the habit
of fear

Many people live as if a bear were chasing them — hearts racing, minds spinning, muscles tight. This constant stress can lead to burnout. Some people cope by shutting down, others by staying overly busy or distracted. These vigilant patterns once helped our ancestors survive, but they don’t help us thrive in modern days.

Dr. Joe Dispenza, a researcher, says healing means “breaking the habit of being yourself.” It really means letting go of the old version of you that’s always scared, or trying to be perfect, instead creating a calmer, more confident version of yourself — one that feels safe enough to relax and just be. Every time you breathe through a moment instead of panicking, every time you speak kindly to yourself instead of criticizing, you’re rewiring your brain for calm. 

There’s no bear
in the corner

If you live with anxiety, please know you are not alone — you’re human. Your brain is simply trying to protect you from a threat that no longer exists.

The next time anxiety rises, pause and breathe. Feel your feet on the ground. Gently remind yourself: “There’s no bear chasing me. I’m safe right now.”  

You are not your thoughts or fears — you are the awareness behind them. Movement, meditation and mindful awareness can quiet the anxious mind and reconnect with the peace that’s always been within you. Over time, life feels lighter, your body relaxes and your thoughts grow kinder. 

Freedom begins when you remember the truth: the danger isn’t real—and you are already safe, right where you are.

TAKE AWAY TO-DOS

Check out the NAMI National website at nami.org, and your NAMI Wyoming website at namiwyoming.com for signature programs and upcoming events.

Check in on a friend, who might be struggling with mental health issues.

The Wyoming Suicide and Crisis Lifeline can be reached by call or text at 988 at any time.

(Myoung Shin Hilson is a psychotherapist and part of Park County NAMI.)