The Amend Corner

Silly Grandpa

By Don Amend
Posted 10/11/22

There are times when I have a difficult time deciding what to write about in this corner.

This isn’t all that unusual. Finding a topic is often the most difficult part of producing an …

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The Amend Corner

Silly Grandpa

Posted

There are times when I have a difficult time deciding what to write about in this corner.

This isn’t all that unusual. Finding a topic is often the most difficult part of producing an essay such as this one. In fact, I used to tell the young people in my English classes that it probably should be the hardest part of the writing process. You need to know your destination before setting out on a trip. Otherwise you might find yourself sunbathing on Waikiki Beach in your parka and long underwear. Even worse, you might suffer frostbite while watching the Wyoming Cowboys kick off during a late November blizzard in your new bikini.

OK, I admit those are pretty lame analogies. They used to elicit groans from my students, who rarely appreciated my humor, but they still made the point, at least once in a while. Being teenagers, most, if not all, of my students chose their topics by staring at the ceiling, chatting with their neighbors or dreaming about the good-looking classmate of the opposite gender for half an hour before coming to my desk and pleading with me to tell them what to write about. 

Well, since I’ve been writing a column such as this one off and on ever since September, 1999, I’ve written on oodles of topics. I’ve commented on politics, sports, religion, family, broken windows and nearly all of the usual holidays, as well as the joys and sorrows of  daily life. And, I have to admit, I have more than once begun writing without a firm topic to guide me, but don’t tell any of my ex-students that.

Well, this column is a rarity, because someone suggested it to me. A group of ladies I know likes to gather at the Presbyterian Church on Monday afternoons to drink coffee and talk to each other.  My wife tells me that I don’t have to be a lady or drink coffee to participate in this activity, but so far I have not been courageous enough to join her in the sessions, so I drink my coffee at home.

At a recent gathering of the ladies, though, one of the ladies suggested to my wife that I should write more about my grandchildren, a suggestion that was relayed to me when my wife came home. This lady often tells me she likes my column, and apparently she likes to read about my grandchildren, so I’m thinking about it.

Its not a bad suggestion, but I’m a little hesitant about taking it. That’s because, back around 1961 or so, I was employed  by a drug store to do such tasks as mopping and sweeping the floors, keeping the windows clean, delivering things to people and helping out on the soda fountain when things became busy. 

One day, I was directed to unpack some merchandise that had just arrived and put it on various shelves. One of the items was a box of some pocket-sized photo albums. They had room for around 20 photos, and clever titles on the covers indicating what sort of pictures were inside.

One of them had a title I couldn’t figure out: “SOGWPIP.” I was rather mystified about its meeting, so I looked for clues, and found what it meant inside the back cover.

“SOGWPIP” stood for “Silly Old Grandma With Pictures in Purse.”

In 1961, I had no grandchildren and wasn’t really expecting some any time soon, so I chuckled about the title and forgot about it, until last week. That’s when I recalled that little photo book, and it occurred to me that the G could stand for Grandpa as well as Grandma and that a Grandpa could be silly and old just as a Grandma could.

OK, I’m quite happy about being grandpa of two 13-year-old granddaughters and two 11-year-old granddaughters, but I certainly don’t want to be silly about it. Nor do I wish to  bore people by flashing pictures of the four of them and bragging about all their accomplishments.

However, in this case, I have received a sincere request to talk about my grandchildren, so that’s what I’ll do in the next column I write. I’ll try not to be silly, though, and I won’t show any pictures. 

If you want to see pictures, you’ll have to come to our house, where you can find them just about any wall you look at.

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