In therapy sessions, one of the foundational practices I introduce to clients is the art of gratitude. After the initial assessment session, including time for getting to know each other, letting my clients know what therapy is about, what they can expect from it, and what challenges they might face in their journey of self-discovery. In each session, I guide them to practice gratitude. At first, they struggle to recognize their “celebrations,” especially as they just showed up for therapy after their fair share of dark night of the soul moments. 

I encourage them to metaphorically use a telescope, microscope or simply reading glasses to recognize the blessings in their lives, while acknowledging their struggles and validating their overwhelming emotions. These celebrations might be about what they have, who they are, their experiences, or people in their lives. As they continue to practice gratitude, clients start to realize that happiness is not just possible — it’s a “fundamental right.”

The psychology of survival: hunter-gatherers’ psychology

We often don’t realize that our tendency to focus on the negative is deeply rooted in our evolutionary past. Have you ever wondered why the news is full of bad events? It’s because our brains are wired to pay more attention to threats. 

Thousands of years ago, when humans lived in harsh environments, staying alert to potential dangers — like an approaching predator — was crucial. This state of high alert ensured survival in a world filled with threats. Even though most of us now live in safer, more modern settings, our brains sometimes react as if we’re still in that ancient environment. Our bodies perceive certain stressors — like a tough day at work or an argument with a friend — as threats to our survival.

However, we don’t have to remain in this survival mode. By recognizing this pattern and shifting our focus, we can move from simply surviving to thriving, where our true nature can be sprung. 

Practicing gratitude helps us make that shift. When we focus on the positives in our lives — whether it’s the strength and beauty within us, cherished experiences or the people we love — we start to break free from the limiting mindset of mere survival. In these moments of gratitude, we embrace the present and recognize life’s gifts as they are. This shift opens the door to happiness, no matter what challenges we may face.

Time to celebrate your life 

As my clients continue to share their celebrations, I witness meaningful transformations. Their faces light up as they speak of the things they’re grateful for. It’s rare to see negative emotions during these moments, as obviously gratitude releases natural antidepressants in the brain, moving away from the old pain, lifting mood and connecting deeper into their true nature, and becoming their “New Self,” – “Life, Love, and Peace.” 

As therapy progresses, their lists of celebrations grow longer. Some clients even find themselves sharing celebrations for the entire session, which is their clear sign of progress. When cultivating positive emotions like excitement, joy, and love through gratitude, they create a harmonious balance between their heart and brain. 

Happiness is your right: The science behind gratitude

I often remind my clients that happiness is their fundamental right. This remains true even in difficult times. Gratitude helps us find positivity, no matter the circumstances, and this shift in focus can transform how we view life.

Research backs up the power of gratitude. In one study, participants were asked to regularly write down things they were grateful for. After a few months, these individuals reported less anxiety, greater mental clarity, and even improvements in their physical health. Gratitude is not just an emotional or mental exercise; it has tangible benefits for both mind and body.

You can practice gratitude anytime — when you wake up, during the day, or before bed. Simply reflecting on or writing down things you are thankful for can create positive changes in your mind and body. Practicing gratitude with loved ones — whether a spouse or children — can also deepen relationships and enhance your overall wellbeing.

Living as a creator

We are living in times where we can create new possibilities, instead of repeating old patterns. Daily practice is crucial. As Dr. Joe Dispenza said, “If we practice anxiety, we will be good at it.” In contrast, if we practice gratitude, peace, and love, which are aligned with our true nature, we will excel in those emotions instead.

It’s exciting to create the mind, body, and heart of a person who thrives, because at our core, we are meant to create, evolve and celebrate life every day.

Remember, happiness isn’t something we earn. It is our fundamental right, and it’s available to all of us, right here and now.

(Myoung Shin Hilson is a psychotherapist and part of Park County NAMI)