A Bubble Off Plumb

A corgi is an exercise in disapproval

Posted 1/28/21

About a year ago, we adopted a corgi. Or perhaps it is more accurate to say the corgi lowered himself to come live with us. 

If you are unfamiliar with the breed, it is the same type of pup …

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A Bubble Off Plumb

A corgi is an exercise in disapproval

Posted

About a year ago, we adopted a corgi. Or perhaps it is more accurate to say the corgi lowered himself to come live with us. 

If you are unfamiliar with the breed, it is the same type of pup seen riding in the carriage with the Queen of England. While they are adorable, they are a snooty lot, prone to disapproval of everything and everyone. And they have facial expressions to go along with that disapproval.

Whether genetics or just luck, they have the ability to round their eyes to enormous size and are masters of both the stink eye and the side-stink eye. In a word, they can make you feel lower than dirt without even knowing what your infraction was.

Perhaps you spoke harshly when the little monster was underfoot. Maybe you objected to sharing your snacks. Did you dare suggest he or she sleep in a doggie bed, exercise or bathe? It is not unlike living with a teenager at their worst. Except the teenager grows out of it.

I am unsure how a dog can be as picky an eater as our corgi and stay alive. Since he was neutered, he has actually gained weight, even if I can’t figure out how.

Everything we try to tempt him with is met with the eye roll, an upturned nose and total disapproval. No way is he going to eat that slop we offer, even though we spend more on his food than we do on our own.

Canned food? Fagedaboutit. Dry food, made in tiny dry kibbles to suit his tiny downturned mouth? Not happening. Leftovers from out of the refrigerator? As if.

Very occasionally, if the moon phase and ocean currents align, he will lower himself to eat a tidbit of commercial dog food. We have tried every brand of kibbles on the market. There are two he doesn’t abhor. One brand of canned food that costs an arm and both legs is acceptable IF we bring the right variety.

Of course, he will usually eat human food off our plates if allowed to, and his favorite time of day is when dinner — for humans — is being prepared. Someone might drop something and he can snatch it up quickly, thus staving off starvation.

Last fall, we did the unthinkable, adding a black-mouth cur to our family. In short order, the “puppy” outweighed the corgi by double, then triple, now nearly four times. The cur, Ranger, will eat anything that doesn’t start on him first, and sometimes things we wish he wouldn’t, like dead birds and piles of cow poop he finds.

He’s brave and brash and dumb as a post. But he has pressured the corgi until he lowered himself to eat — gads — dog food. He can no longer take a single kibble, gnaw on it disinterestedly, then drop it on the floor, because it gets snatched up immediately.

Competition has been good for the little dog, although it has increased his level of disapproval. In fact, it has grown to the point where I am pretty sure he is planning to kill us all in our sleep.

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