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Columns

It’s been an eventful news week, has it not? Let’s review, and begin with the most earth-shaking headline of all: Was that an enchanting wedding or what?

No, I didn’t get up at 3 a.m. to join the estimated 3 billion who watched Prince William wed Kate Middleton; in fact, I was just falling asleep for the night about then. But I did catch much of the annoying hubbub in the weeks leading up to the nuptials. Although I had no interest in watching the wedding, I certainly have ogled young Kate on occasion.

President Obama’s release of his birth certificate last week should finally end the silly controversy over his birth place.

Yeah, right.

Some people will never be satisfied, and they are already finding fault with the evidence submitted last week. Obama could have had Jesus himself attest to the authenticity of the certificate, and some people would still find a way to discredit it.

AMEND CORNER: Once in a lifetime

Last Sunday was a rare occurrence.

Easter Sunday fell on April 24, a date it hasn’t occupied since 1859. In fact, according to a website I found, it’s only the fifth time Easter has fallen on that date since the defeat of the Spanish Armada in 1588.

On Good Friday 2,011 years ago, the greatest man that ever lived, died. The day before Good Friday one year ago, the greatest woman that ever lived, my mother, died.

Sunday will be their second Easter together.

My friend DeAnna was outside tending her lawn one afternoon when an elderly gentleman on a casual stroll stopped to chat. They bemoaned another day of torturous Cody winds, and he told her about a tornado he remembers while growing up in Kansas. At the end of his long story, she replied simply, “Well, I’ll be darn!”

I’ve heard a lot of complaining about the weather the past week.

It seems at least some of my fellow Wyoming residents are unhappy about the rainy, snowy, relatively cool — well, maybe a little bit cold — days we’ve had a lot of during the past few weeks.

MY LOUSY WORLD: When it was a game

Last Friday, I took off a day of work to watch opening day for my Pittsburgh Pirates on WGN. Opening day of the Great American Pastime is sacred, but in fairness, I also won’t work on opening day of professional rugby, Patriots Day, Chinese New Year, first day of Hispanic Heritage Month, Yom Kippur, St. Jean Baptiste Day, Lincoln’s or Nixon’s birthday.

SPORTS GUY and the oobleck

There are a lot of things Wyoming guide books warn hikers about — bears, mountain lions, bacteria in the water. None of them warn about oobleck.

For those of you without a child or who may have forgotten your Dr. Seuss, oobleck is this green substance that sticks to everything. While many are probably under the impression the 1950 Caldecott winner is a work of fiction, the truth is that Wyoming is full of oobleck.

When is the world gonna end, I wonder? Do we have less than two years according to that Mayan calendar snafu? And are they talking Dec. 31, 2012, or just generally? If I’m to plan for this thing, I need specific details, damn … I mean, dang it.

Of course, unrelated to any calendars or haphazard predictions, there’s the glut of natural disasters … tsunamis, earthquakes, etc, of which the Bible promises will become unrelenting like birthing pains. Obviously, the “wars and rumors of wars” aren’t subsiding. Heck, considering the three wars we’re already engaged in, the bases are loaded, Syria’s walking to the plate and Yemen is in the on-deck circle.

AMEND CORNER: Watching your language

Back when I was about 10, I spent a lot of my summer time at the school playground across the street from my house, where the neighborhood kids often gathered.

On one of those occasions, a couple of girls took exception to a word one of the boys — it wasn’t me — interjected into the conversation. Specifically, the boy kept repeating the word “heck.”

Page 55 of 66

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