Three cheers for Barry Sprowl, a Johnstown, Pa., young man who truly understands the concept of “family.”

I think a gentleman known as “Foreskins” would second that emotion.

More about Sprowl and his family-friendly philanthropy in a moment, but first let’s review the Chicago Bears’ shameful loss to the Saints on Dec. 15.

In the third quarter, when Pigeon-Toes Cutler was on his back for about the 10th time, I again questioned my decision 39 years ago of making sports betting a second income. While popping Rolaids and chewing fingernails, I reminded myself: “You’ve been out of betting money for weeks, so why all this gut-wrenching anxiety?”

Then I remembered: Yes, I’m out of money and too dang fiscally responsible to send more, but as they say, “The season ain’t over till the fat cheerleader chaffs,” and I’m still eligible for a $1,700 windfall on a $50 investment made four months ago.

Unknown to many since I’m not one to toot my own horn (I’m really great that way), I won $1,000 three seasons ago with that same $50 start. That good fortune (combined with astute football instincts) was thanks to my good buddy, “Snuffy” Eash and the aforementioned “Toothless Grin” Sprowl.

With a ruthless tenacity, I bested 67 others, including “Da Hoggs” who I fought tooth and nail for 17 weeks, in a yearly football poll called “Family Affair.” Each week of the season, point-spread winners are predicted, with a $50 prize to the winner. At season’s end, the player with the most total winners is awarded the cash prize, amount variable per number of participants.

Recruiting my nephew Jay, aka “Cody Gorf” and his son Trey/”Shovelhead,” I’ve done my part to swell our numbers to 97, and this year’s whopping $1,700.

I desperately need that money, so like super linebacker J.J. Watt, each week I’m pumped and eager to destroy all enemy combatants. Week 15’s humbling six wins dropped me from third to seventh place, five games behind the leader, “J.P. McPsycho,” but I still must warn: “Hear the bell, McPsycho; it tolls for thee!”

That hot, putrid breath he feels on his neck is that of ol’ “Buffalo Bill,” statistical wizard and former MVP.

As a contest late-bloomer in ’10, I recently quizzed Sprowl — the contest’s tireless, selfless (he’s never won himself) architect and manager — about its history. Except for Snuffy and another Pennsylvania best friend, “Weiners” Stephenson, I know few participants. Only our self-given nicknames are posted in the weekly standings e-mail.

Toothless tells me he launched the contest in ’05 with 22 players, mostly family, thus the name “Family Affair.” The inaugural $250 was won by his brother-in-law, Scooter, followed by his wife, Sweet Cheeks.

Yes, I too suspected collusion, until I remembered Sweet Cheek’s mother, sister to Snuffy’s wife “Debbles” is one of nine siblings. Some relative is bound to win.

That pesky DaHoggs (named changed in 2013 to “Two Trees” for convoluted “family” reasons), Grin’s best pal, won year three and again three years later, so he must truly resent me for preventing his third victory in 2011 when this stranger burst onto the scene to beat him by a single point.

As of this writing, with two weeks left of the season, my aim is to tie him as the only repeat winner. Sorry Hoggster, but I need to make a living too, ya know. Baby needs new shoes! (Figure of speech, but doggie does need a new leash).

Lucky Lenny, Blood, Sweat & Beers and four others are also in my way and must be dispensed of poste-haste. Last year’s $1,400 was won by Polish Hammer against 87 players, while this year’s 97 raised the stakes dramatically.

In a thoughtful family gesture, Sprowl includes a $50 lowest-total prize each year, but if one fails to submit even a single pick, they’re disqualified for that “Miss Congeniality” trophy.

While feeling bad for them, I respect those with no chance of first place, yet each week valiantly submit their picks to at least try to win the week.

People like Shmoop, last week’s $50 winner with 11, and past winners Nipples and Double-Ds (ironically, not related), who won week three with an astounding 14, both having since gone into free-fall. Likewise for Dixienormous, but she’s still ahead of scrappers like Blind Melon and “Evil” who — unlike D.Ds — I’m not particularly eager to put a face to the name when I finally make it back home.

But others, like Hairy Gary, got his first disqualifying zero in week six, followed by an impressive 10, but then seven straight zeros. Sadly, Hairy seems to have lost his will to live. But I can’t waste energy crying for also-rans; I have much hard work to do. I won before with only a one-game lead going into the final week, yet miraculously prevailed with my pathetic five since DaHoggs also stumbled with five.

So anything can happen. God willing (I’ve promised to tithe my winnings) and the point spread don’t rise, I’ll be sending a portion of my winnings offshore to wager my Steelers all the way to the Super Bowl.

If I’ve learned anything in my gambling career, it’s that you never put your money in your pocket when ahead.